The Hills Season Premiere -- Episode: "Put On A Happy Face."

Sooooooooooooooooo I was fiegining hard as can BE for this premiere episode of The Hills. After the 40395803859043 previews, the time finally came tonight to show the first episode. I loved it. Let's recap/comment right quick ;)

1. MTV was feigning to not show Heidi's face for as long as possible. The whole time she was packing and getting ready to leave for Colorado and even when she got there, all we could see was her body below the bellybutton LOL.

2. Heidi's face = atrocious. I felt so uncomfortable even looking at it. It was soooo .... tight and stiff and so unnatural. Sometimes, when you try to do to much to achieve perfection as far as cosmetic surgery goes, you look worse than what you started with. Even if Heidi wanted to go back to how she looked, she couldn't. The damage has been done. She asked her mom if she thought she looked good. Her mom's response: "You wanna rephrase that question?" LOL. It was honestly that bad. Poor Heidi. She even said, "Yeah, I do want to look like Barbie." Baby girl is all screwed up in the head and should get therapy because after 10 surgeries, she still looks horrible and clearly has an addiction to becoming this object of perfection that she will never reach.

3. Kristen is a female dog. The end. I'm mad she got tight when her friends were concerned about her partying. Clearly she's spiraling out of control. She's annoying, and I have no more words for her as of now.

4. Is it just me or did Brody get more fine?

5. Spencer is still the asshole he was every other season he's been on The Hills. Nothing has changed.

6. Can someone give Heidi some damn BASS in her voice?

7. Heidi's family is so opposite of welcoming and supportive of this new robot they call their daughter. Her stepfather was trying to be supportive, yet was insulting at the same time. "Your face looks more structure .. and frozen .." lmfao. Her mom did not help by saying, "How's your burger? Do you want me to put it in a blender for you?" LOL.

8. Heidi's last words before leaving to go back to Cali? "Yeah, I think I've had enough for a while.." Translation: "I'm not coming back to home to see your ass mom." HAHA. Heidi wasn't home for months before this so I hope her mom knows that she definitely isn't coming back after she attacked and made fun of her new face.

The preview for what's coming on this season of The Hills is toooooooooo poppin'. Spencer has honestly lost his damn mind. This man has THE biggest anger problems. Kristen mine as well just admit she's doing some kind of drug on the low AND needs to let Brody go. Heidi .. needs to just throw herself in therapy and divorce Spencer aaannnddd move out of Cali because all that pressure has turned her into a plastic monster.

That is all.