(via Cosmopolitan Magazine)
1. Give Him Room
You probably feel a need to talk things out as soon as possible, but often your best bet is to let him cool off—alone. “When I get in a big fight with my girlfriend, it can take me a few days before I’m ready to address things,” says Noah, 35. “Sometimes it helps to go out with the guys and blow off steam.” Don’t worry—just because he’s bro-ing out playing Buck Hunter at a bar, it doesn’t mean he’s not working things out in his head. That’s how guys multitask.
You probably feel a need to talk things out as soon as possible, but often your best bet is to let him cool off—alone. “When I get in a big fight with my girlfriend, it can take me a few days before I’m ready to address things,” says Noah, 35. “Sometimes it helps to go out with the guys and blow off steam.” Don’t worry—just because he’s bro-ing out playing Buck Hunter at a bar, it doesn’t mean he’s not working things out in his head. That’s how guys multitask.
2. Don’t Out-Argue Him
Even if you can logically and convincingly prove that you deserve forgiveness, it won’t help you get it. In fact, it’ll only hurt your cause. “It never works to apologize by continuing to prove your point,” says Brad, 31. “If she brings up a time when I hurt her and she forgave me, it takes the focus off the current problem.” We hate being in a fight more than you do, so we won’t draw it out longer than necessary. But we do need to forgive you on our own terms.
Even if you can logically and convincingly prove that you deserve forgiveness, it won’t help you get it. In fact, it’ll only hurt your cause. “It never works to apologize by continuing to prove your point,” says Brad, 31. “If she brings up a time when I hurt her and she forgave me, it takes the focus off the current problem.” We hate being in a fight more than you do, so we won’t draw it out longer than necessary. But we do need to forgive you on our own terms.
3. Stroke His Ego
Guys are never immune to compliments. Doing or saying something that makes him feel good not only, well, makes him feel good, but it also reminds him why it’s way better when he’s notmad at you. And it can be as easy as laughing at his jokes. “That’s my weak spot,” admits Joe, 29. “when we’re out with friends postfight and I’m clowning around and I hear my girlfriend’s laughter, I know I’ll be able to get over whatever’s wrong between us.”
Guys are never immune to compliments. Doing or saying something that makes him feel good not only, well, makes him feel good, but it also reminds him why it’s way better when he’s notmad at you. And it can be as easy as laughing at his jokes. “That’s my weak spot,” admits Joe, 29. “when we’re out with friends postfight and I’m clowning around and I hear my girlfriend’s laughter, I know I’ll be able to get over whatever’s wrong between us.”
4. Be Tough on Yourself
We don’t want you to beat yourself up—unless you’re doing it for our benefit. “I was with a girl who had an epic freak-out—like relationship-ending stuff,” says Jesse, 25. “But a few days later, she sent me an e-mail, and instead of trying to explain away her behavior, she said she had thought about things from my perspective and was tortured about how she’d acted.” Mustering up a few tears in the process also works wonders…but you didn’t hear that from us.
We don’t want you to beat yourself up—unless you’re doing it for our benefit. “I was with a girl who had an epic freak-out—like relationship-ending stuff,” says Jesse, 25. “But a few days later, she sent me an e-mail, and instead of trying to explain away her behavior, she said she had thought about things from my perspective and was tortured about how she’d acted.” Mustering up a few tears in the process also works wonders…but you didn’t hear that from us.
-- I definitely agreed with #'s 1, 2, and 4. As far as #3 goes, I don't know about all that LOL. I mean, I guess stroking a guy's ego ONCE IN A WHILE is okay but to do it all the time? I couldn't.
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